What does it mean to truly have joy?

As of late, I’ve been coming to grips with the differences between joy and happiness and found that the two are often interchanged. So let’s just nip this in the bud right now…Joy is NOT the same as happiness.

And you may have heard this before, but I’m speaking to those of you who haven’t.

Happiness is revolved around happenings. It means being affected by the things that happen around you or to you in an everyday setting. Say if things don’t go your way at work and you are “unhappy” with the outcome, but then in turn you are joyful at the mere fact that you have a job. Therein lies the difference.

Joy has more to do with your insides, your inner being. If you have joy then that means there is something on the inside of you that is consistently in touch with a bigger picture. If your inner being is aligned correctly, then the possibility of finding joy through anything is great. 

If you choose to live your life full of joy, you are untouchable. True joy means having the ability to function in the midst of madness. You may be unhappy, but you can also find joy in that. Joy does not mean you will never be unhappy, and unhappiness does not equal no joy.

If your joy disappears it is because you let it disappear. What is happening around you should not determine the length and width of your joy.

Many may feel that if you don’t have happiness there’s no way you can be joyful but this is a lie. 

How do you think those people who can smile in the face of destruction get through the day? That’s not simply based on the loose term “happy.” There’s something on the inside of them that is untouched by the darkest of nights. While the entire world is gloomy, they still have a light shining from the inside.   

To be able to say “I have joy” in spite of the craziness around you should be something normalized. We should never be wishy-washy, people who are swayed to and fro causing emotional wreckage. Don’t be an emotional wreck. Find your joy and choose to dwell in it every day. You will not be sorry.

Discover, Accept, then Run

One of the worst things you can do for your life is sit around watching others live theirs.

Another one of the worst things you can do for your life is expect to be at a certain level based on distorted ideas mainly dealing in comparison.

This generation thrives on information, whether it is about a distant being or close acquaintance. We seem to follow people closely and draw our conclusions about life from them.

But can it be that we are too engulfed in others’ series of events and not enough in ours to actually live our lives?

We can’t be so concerned with what others are doing and miss out on what we should and can be doing. This is where hate begins to shine dim, where envy peaks his ugly head from the dirt. Because the more you look on others’ lives, the more you begin to form an opinion which could turn positive, but mostly negative.

The limelight is just full of normal people who knew other normal people and had the determination enough to get them where they are now.

Everyone has a different set of unfortunate events. Our lives take many different turns. It is very rare that you will find someone who went through the exact same process you did, and I mean down to a tee. 

It takes work to get somewhere in life, that is of course if you’re not a part of a family that is already known for something (i.e. The Kardashian Bunch).

If you aren’t part of “royal lineage” then guess what, you have to play the cards you’ve been dealt.

If you allow what others are doing to cause you to doubt your identity, your beauty, or your capacities, then how will you accomplish anything? 

Never compare your life to the lives of others. It’ll only hinder you from reaching your own heights even if you’re comparing yourself to “regular” people.

Discover your process, Accept where you are then Run after what is uniquely yours.

You gotta do something differently if you want different results.
How can you expect change when your life doesn't reflect the meaning of the word?
How can you expect to be free as a bird when your wings have been bound by your current mindset?
It's funny if you think you've engaged in liberty when you're doing the same things and pulling the same strings.
And how can you breathe when your breath has been suppressed by the habitual flings you have with your spoken nonsense that does not reflect change?
Your breath should stink of metamorphosis.
Your body should exude innovation.
Your steps should not align with the same ones from yesterday.
Your hands should not mold the clay of the misconception and misinterpretation that causes you to believe that no change is necessary.
Your heart should be creating stretch marks on your chest as it beats fiercely with the drum of difference trying to break through the surface.
Your mind should not stay within the confines of a false worldview embedded in you from birth.
You should believe in wonders and miracles.
Fairy tales should adorn the walls of your skull.
Your eyes should experience a shift, changing your 20/20 into 20/24 so that concentrating a little more will transform the dynamics of an object.
You should be like Superman, seeing through the solidity of situations.
You gotta see differently to get different results.
Are you ready for change?

Girl, who do you get dressed for?

Ladies, have you ever noticed the intricate outward details of another woman? And I mean down to her very toe nails –those kinds of details? Then, have you ever tried to speak with a man about those details? I can almost guarantee that the conversation wouldn’t go the same way if you had spoken with—let’s say—another female counterpart.

Somehow women find a way to know exactly how something is “supposed” to look on another woman, but where exactly do they get their reference point.

I find this happening to myself often. In fact, it just happened not too long ago. As I reflected on myself after noticing the hammered toe nails of another woman dressed in old, flat flip flops with dry heels, I stopped myself. Because even though she had an issue going on with her feet, she had no problem flirting with the guy on the basketball court. Nine times out of 10, maybe 8, guys won’t pay attention to that kind of stuff. They could care less about the cute, messy bun that took you an hour to perfect. Or, the extra hairs you purposely leave out of your ponytails. They see both styles as equally messy, nonetheless. 

Yesterday, I saw a hilarious post on Instagram that confirmed this thought of mine. It basically stated how women buy expensive things to impress other women because a guy never says stuff like, “she’s ugly, but that purse bro…”

If this is true, if guys truly don’t look at colored toes, baby hairs, or purses we must ask ourselves who we’re trying to look good for. I would go as far to say ourselves, or other women. The competition is real. It’s like we simultaneously criticize another woman’s style while secretly trying to do a rendition of what she did. 

In some twisted way women are naturally intimidated by other women which causes them to do an excess amount of prepping. If there hadn’t been one woman in the world wearing makeup, then the next three women wouldn’t feel the need to pile it on.

Guys’ minds are simple, girls’ mind are not. The style ideas you thought hard on, he may have thought about twice. Go ask five guys you know if they like when women wear makeup and see what they say. The results may be shocking.

Of course this isn’t something we are conscious of while we’re getting dressed for the day in the morning: “What can I wear today to make what’s-her-face jealous?” That’s not what I’m saying at all. I’m not saying to stop buying yourself expensive things or doing cool tricks to enhance your style, but to simply check your motives. If you find that it leads you down a road lacking in self-respect and love, then you make the choice on what to do.