A Word about Self-Control

A lot of times when people get upset at others, they use language that puts the other person in a manipulative position saying things such as, “don’t make me go off on you,” or “you made me feel this way.” This is the wrong approach. And it may be hard to hear because it’s very seldom that people want to be blamed for their own shortcomings, but the truth is it is nobody’s fault but your own if you flip someone the bird.

If you allow yourself to go off on someone to the point where you disrespect them verbally or non-verbally, it was not necessarily their fault. This shows that you were drawn away by your own temptation to make them feel bad. Even if someone entices you continually, you have no right to blame them for making you react a certain way. By blaming the offender, you are letting them know that they have control over your emotions.

There’s a correct way to handle everything. You hold the power to let things roll off your chest. It’s called having self-control. Stop blaming other people for what you can’t control of yourself. No one can make you do anything.

One thing I learned in my younger years from seeing a skit put on by the Kaiser Permanente Educational Theatre was the use of Peace Signs “Stop, Think, Act” (there was a song that went to this and I remember the chorus to this day) to handle conflict.

When someone offends you, you need to STOP by refraining from instantly reacting, THINK about your options for responding positively, and ACT on it. This may sound corny, but if it works for the many children who hear this same concept, then it can work for adults as well. 

It is not impossible to handle things in a better manner.

Just do it!

Living Void of Apology

Have you ever seen anyone claim to live non-apologetically as a way to act recklessly?

I’d like to take this time out to oppose this idea that living this way must involve reckless behavior.

To live without apology doesn’t necessarily mean living recklessly, whether it is reckless toward yourself or towards others. It is not a matter of doing whatever you want and not caring about the feelings of those around you. Living non-apologetically is taking ownership of the things you’ve done, and corrected, and not being affected by anyone who talks down on you because of your experiences.

Notice I said “and corrected.” If you’re still stuck in the same thing you know you need to let go of and people are criticizing what it is you’re doing, then they somewhat have that right. Especially if that thing is causing you to become a version of yourself that no one can embrace, including you.

Living non-apologetically means not having to keep apologizing for the mistakes you have made in the past that you have already dealt with. The reality is, everybody goes through something they are not proud of and experiences things that people will most always look down upon. Living non-apologetically means not feeling shameful about how you used to live. It’s being free to embrace the mistakes you've learned from and not hanging your own stuff over your head.

Stop feeling sorry for what has already been taken care of and Live Non-apologetically