Escape from Fantasyland

My idea on love and relationships was tainted. I didn’t really know how it should go. All I knew was what I conjured up based on my own common sense. And from this, I thought I had all the answers until I embarked on the journey of building my own first serious relationship.

A part of me knew this information in my younger years, but not to the extent that I know it now.

Within the obstacles of my relationship, I found myself doubting if we should be together because of the things he did that I didn’t like or the amount of arguments we had over things I never even noticed about myself. I had gone back and forth with the notion of “maybe we just weren’t meant to be” based on the way he spoke, the way he acted—things I thought should be put in place before you get into a relationship with someone. This was until I started paying attention to the married couples around me.

Within these couples, each partner had something about the other that they’d rather remove—whether it was a beard, certain clothes in their closet, or the fact that sometimes they just didn’t say/do the right thing at the right time. But when it was all said and done, they were able to love each other aside from all of that. 

What most people forget, and what I didn’t fully realize, was that love is an action. It has very little to do with clothes or facial hair. When you truly love someone you love them for who they truly are, not what they portray on the outside. In this case, if they say the wrong thing one time, this should not affect the love you have for them. You may not like them at that moment, but the love should not be swayed.

My “love” was being swayed to and fro by every little thing he did that I didn’t like, and this was the cause for many of our mishaps. I guess I figured if someone showed up as being the full package, I should like everything the package came with. But the reality is everyone has their “stuff.” Everyone has their own preferences for how they choose to live life. In the end, the real question when choosing to spend your life with someone should be: can I see myself looking past the junk to live with the reward of who you really are?

For most of my life I lived in a fantasy land and now I am pushing myself through to reality.

A Decree to Restore the Original Intent of Manhood

Men are meant to be leaders. They are naturally born that way. But I’m afraid that characteristic has been flipped to the point where they are now turning to other characteristics that were never meant to be theirs. This world has taken the male figure and made him a victim to fathers not being in the home which causes him to put more pressure on women in many senses. Men were never meant to be weaklings who learned all they know from a single mother. They are called to be strong and not dependent on the women in their life for a lifetime of nourishment. They are called to provide nourishment for a whole family and not through dishonest living, but through honest hard work and labor. These days, boys are not taught to be the head of their home which causes them to grow into dependent men who whine and complain or flip out in violent ways when they don’t get what they want, etc. The leadership in them has been diminished to a taking of leadership in destructive activities outside of being the leader of the household. Their leadership skills have been turned into a way for them to control women and take advantage of female emotions, manipulating more and more women and becoming a hero because of it. They have been turned towards leading violent gangs that gather to plot more destruction. Their leadership qualities have been dumbed down to nearly nothing. They are rarely being seen as leaders as they have been accepted in society to be more “in touch” with their feminine side. Their masculinity has been tampered with and not taken seriously. Men, take hold of your leadership role. You are meant to be more than you think.