A part of me knew this information in my younger years, but
not to the extent that I know it now.
Within the obstacles of my relationship, I found myself
doubting if we should be together because of the things he did that I didn’t like
or the amount of arguments we had over things I never even noticed about
myself. I had gone back and forth with the notion of “maybe we just weren’t
meant to be” based on the way he spoke, the way he acted—things I thought should
be put in place before you get into a relationship with someone. This was until
I started paying attention to the married couples around me.
Within these couples, each partner had something about the
other that they’d rather remove—whether it was a beard, certain clothes in
their closet, or the fact that sometimes they just didn’t say/do the right
thing at the right time. But when it was all said and done, they were able to
love each other aside from all of that.
What most people forget, and what I didn’t fully realize,
was that love is an action. It has very little to do with clothes or facial
hair. When you truly love someone you love them for who they truly are, not
what they portray on the outside. In this case, if they say the wrong thing one
time, this should not affect the love you have for them. You may not like them
at that moment, but the love should not be swayed.
My “love” was being swayed to and fro by every little thing
he did that I didn’t like, and this was the cause for many of our mishaps. I
guess I figured if someone showed up as being the full package, I should like everything
the package came with. But the reality is everyone has their “stuff.” Everyone
has their own preferences for how they choose to live life. In the end, the
real question when choosing to spend your life with someone should be: can I
see myself looking past the junk to live with the reward of who you really are?
For most of my life I lived in a fantasy land and now I am
pushing myself through to reality.
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