W.W.J.D.W.D.

What Would Jesus Do While Driving?

Have you ever taken the time out to think about how Jesus would be if he were here living on earth in this modern time?

What kind of driver would he be on these modern roads? I could imagine Jesus being “that guy” who everyone hates to drive behind: he stays within the speed limit, stops traffic to let cars merge in front of him, lets a line of cars in a driveway pull in front of him while another line of cars waits impatiently behind him. He would have the utmost patience on the road.

He would get cut off daily, cursed out on the regular and probably flicked off every other day. But you know what wouldn’t happen?

He wouldn’t change one bit. He would continue letting everyone and their mama get in front of him, he would continue to follow the rules of the road and people would continue to get pissed off while he would still love them all the same. 

I aspire to be like that—unbothered by outside forces, able to love in the face of anger, to forgive even when treated wrong repeatedly, to remain constant when everyone else is changing and moving too fast. Imagine how freeing it would be not to switch moods every time someone shows they disapprove of the things you do. 

None of this is impossible, because if Jesus was still a man on earth he’d probably act just like this.

Escape from Fantasyland

My idea on love and relationships was tainted. I didn’t really know how it should go. All I knew was what I conjured up based on my own common sense. And from this, I thought I had all the answers until I embarked on the journey of building my own first serious relationship.

A part of me knew this information in my younger years, but not to the extent that I know it now.

Within the obstacles of my relationship, I found myself doubting if we should be together because of the things he did that I didn’t like or the amount of arguments we had over things I never even noticed about myself. I had gone back and forth with the notion of “maybe we just weren’t meant to be” based on the way he spoke, the way he acted—things I thought should be put in place before you get into a relationship with someone. This was until I started paying attention to the married couples around me.

Within these couples, each partner had something about the other that they’d rather remove—whether it was a beard, certain clothes in their closet, or the fact that sometimes they just didn’t say/do the right thing at the right time. But when it was all said and done, they were able to love each other aside from all of that. 

What most people forget, and what I didn’t fully realize, was that love is an action. It has very little to do with clothes or facial hair. When you truly love someone you love them for who they truly are, not what they portray on the outside. In this case, if they say the wrong thing one time, this should not affect the love you have for them. You may not like them at that moment, but the love should not be swayed.

My “love” was being swayed to and fro by every little thing he did that I didn’t like, and this was the cause for many of our mishaps. I guess I figured if someone showed up as being the full package, I should like everything the package came with. But the reality is everyone has their “stuff.” Everyone has their own preferences for how they choose to live life. In the end, the real question when choosing to spend your life with someone should be: can I see myself looking past the junk to live with the reward of who you really are?

For most of my life I lived in a fantasy land and now I am pushing myself through to reality.

A Decree to Restore the Original Intent of Manhood

Men are meant to be leaders. They are naturally born that way. But I’m afraid that characteristic has been flipped to the point where they are now turning to other characteristics that were never meant to be theirs. This world has taken the male figure and made him a victim to fathers not being in the home which causes him to put more pressure on women in many senses. Men were never meant to be weaklings who learned all they know from a single mother. They are called to be strong and not dependent on the women in their life for a lifetime of nourishment. They are called to provide nourishment for a whole family and not through dishonest living, but through honest hard work and labor. These days, boys are not taught to be the head of their home which causes them to grow into dependent men who whine and complain or flip out in violent ways when they don’t get what they want, etc. The leadership in them has been diminished to a taking of leadership in destructive activities outside of being the leader of the household. Their leadership skills have been turned into a way for them to control women and take advantage of female emotions, manipulating more and more women and becoming a hero because of it. They have been turned towards leading violent gangs that gather to plot more destruction. Their leadership qualities have been dumbed down to nearly nothing. They are rarely being seen as leaders as they have been accepted in society to be more “in touch” with their feminine side. Their masculinity has been tampered with and not taken seriously. Men, take hold of your leadership role. You are meant to be more than you think.

The Gift that (should) Keep on Giving: Love

What is love?

How many songs, books, etc. have been written on this question that no one can seem to pinpoint?

This may have been said a million times in so many different ways, but I feel the need to flip the switch for someone else on the same light that just turned on for me.

Love is not looking for someone who can give you this or that, but it’s looking for someone who is receptive to all you give.

Though, of course, there are instances where you can love someone with all your heart and they never love you the same way. But the idea is that the main basis of your love came from a pure place. You loved them unconditionally without looking to gain anything from them and it is here where true love lies.

Too often, people get caught up in the idea that they don’t want to lose who they are in a relationship, which causes them to give less. The truth of the matter is there should be some change going on. And this goes for all of your relationships, not just your romantic ones. 

Love is not losing yourself, it’s putting someone else’s needs before yours. Now, in a right relationship, the person you’re with will make your needs a priority as well. Just think of what a reward you would be to each other.

There is no love other than a love of sacrifice. Don’t be so afraid to give out all your resources to the people you claim to love. Don’t be a hoarder with harsh hands. Lovers are not hoarders.

Love has everything to do with laying yourself down (your desires, your preferences and the like) to make someone else’s life easier. It has little to do with “what about me?”

This “giving-of-all” view on love might make people think it’s more of a “doormat approach,” and yes, there will be plenty of moments like that, but when you know who you are this doesn’t alter your character.

With this view in mind, maybe the world could start looking at “I love you” in the same light as “I’m giving you my all” which would prevent the phrase from be used too lightly or quickly.

A Word about Self-Control

A lot of times when people get upset at others, they use language that puts the other person in a manipulative position saying things such as, “don’t make me go off on you,” or “you made me feel this way.” This is the wrong approach. And it may be hard to hear because it’s very seldom that people want to be blamed for their own shortcomings, but the truth is it is nobody’s fault but your own if you flip someone the bird.

If you allow yourself to go off on someone to the point where you disrespect them verbally or non-verbally, it was not necessarily their fault. This shows that you were drawn away by your own temptation to make them feel bad. Even if someone entices you continually, you have no right to blame them for making you react a certain way. By blaming the offender, you are letting them know that they have control over your emotions.

There’s a correct way to handle everything. You hold the power to let things roll off your chest. It’s called having self-control. Stop blaming other people for what you can’t control of yourself. No one can make you do anything.

One thing I learned in my younger years from seeing a skit put on by the Kaiser Permanente Educational Theatre was the use of Peace Signs “Stop, Think, Act” (there was a song that went to this and I remember the chorus to this day) to handle conflict.

When someone offends you, you need to STOP by refraining from instantly reacting, THINK about your options for responding positively, and ACT on it. This may sound corny, but if it works for the many children who hear this same concept, then it can work for adults as well. 

It is not impossible to handle things in a better manner.

Just do it!

Living Void of Apology

Have you ever seen anyone claim to live non-apologetically as a way to act recklessly?

I’d like to take this time out to oppose this idea that living this way must involve reckless behavior.

To live without apology doesn’t necessarily mean living recklessly, whether it is reckless toward yourself or towards others. It is not a matter of doing whatever you want and not caring about the feelings of those around you. Living non-apologetically is taking ownership of the things you’ve done, and corrected, and not being affected by anyone who talks down on you because of your experiences.

Notice I said “and corrected.” If you’re still stuck in the same thing you know you need to let go of and people are criticizing what it is you’re doing, then they somewhat have that right. Especially if that thing is causing you to become a version of yourself that no one can embrace, including you.

Living non-apologetically means not having to keep apologizing for the mistakes you have made in the past that you have already dealt with. The reality is, everybody goes through something they are not proud of and experiences things that people will most always look down upon. Living non-apologetically means not feeling shameful about how you used to live. It’s being free to embrace the mistakes you've learned from and not hanging your own stuff over your head.

Stop feeling sorry for what has already been taken care of and Live Non-apologetically

A Word about Maturity

So, as of late, I’ve been coming into a certain level of maturity, but not so much in a way that you may think. My maturity involves sticking with certain decisions even in the face of outside sources that pull me in a different direction.

I had to ask myself: How would going back really enhance my life? What benefits would I gain? What would be the purpose for trailing back?

All of these questions led me to one conclusion: There was no purpose other than the fact that my mind had me believing that I needed to backtrack to get clarity when I already had all the clarity I needed.

The thing about maturity is that you will eventually reach a place where you will no longer look to the same things you did in the past. But what most people do is look back, forgetting about the maturity they’ve reach because of loneliness or boredom. Don’t get so bored with your life that you start conjuring up all these excuses for why you need to “go back for closure.”

This is where you incorporate your own newness into your life: try new restaurants, go to new places with your friends, read a new book, etc.

Do not be alarmed when you find that past thoughts are escaping you. When you feel an itch that urges you to creep back into your past state of mind, don’t let it overtake you.

Don’t mistake your pondering on the past for a “sign” that is telling you to go back and fix things. Instead, rediscover why you made that choice in the first place.

In your maturity stage, you may make some difficult choices, but you also find release in that.

  

A part of growing up is living with the decisions you’ve made. If every 5 minutes you find yourself wanting to retract your decision, how can you expect to grow up and out of something?

Release yourself from past desires; be content with your decisions.  It’s good if you’re not craving the same things.

The things you find safety in are not always the things you can thrive in, they’re not always healthy for you.

Cleanse your palette and gain a new taste for something.